I was rolling along feeling pretty darn good about things (with the exception of my migraine which still sucks) when it hit me.... hey yo... you are on another path to destruction if you don't stop and think now. I hate reality when it hits. ok see, there is this great guy I met in hospital. Not the best place to start a romance I know, but hey it happened and here we are. Not only is he romantic and sweet when he wants to be, he is employed and gainfully seeking to advance himself in life. So then there is this guy I just met at the REC who is nice. He has a past that is not pretty at all and some of it is still pending but he is a nice guy. Then there is TMWLMD that I truly love, but I know that not only can I never be what he needs from a partner he can't ever be all the things I need from a partner. OK this is how the mix is playing out. The guy from REC is supposed to be JUST a friend. It was stated out front, from the beginning that all I want is friendship and he said the same as well. He knows I am physically attracted but that I want to not go there because I obviously have WAY to much on my plate as is. Today I went to church with him as agreed and next Sunday he is supposed to go to my church. I swear it was not ever supposed to be anything more than friendship. Today, I had people asking if we were dating, and then he kept talking and somehow we get on this thing of 'what if it ever develops to more than a friendship'. HOW DO I GET IN THESE SITUATIONS?????
The guy from hospital is one that I can actually see myself having a relationship with, and I am really thinking it is something that I might want to happen. TMWLMD is so beautiful and so loving, I am heartbroken just thinking about how much I wish this or that or the other were different, but it is what it is and I cant make anything any better sitting and wishing. Sigh..... no wonder my frigging head hurts.
You know, the right man is out there for you. Just because he is not in your life right this minute, does not mean you won't find him at the right time. Take your time. Become good friends first, and see if this is really something you want to pursue. If it's right for both of you, then you can take it a step further. If it's not, then you don't get your heart broken. I urge you to wait a while, and let things develop slowly. If it's right, it will stay right. You don't have to jump in with both feet right away. Stick your toe in, and see how the water is before you go whole hog. After all, if he is THE ONE, he will be able to be patient with your need for caution.
ReplyDeleteI got two letters today from my friend at the REC. He really is a super sweet guy, but I can tell he is emotionally invested from his letters and it scares the shit out of me. I wrote him a long letter back, and stuck it in his door reminding him that we are friends for life, and that neither of us is prepared for a relationship right now. It is super strange for me to be the one who recognizes that a situation is really not healthy, and taking proactive steps to keep it from becoming a nuclear meltdown, so I am really proud of me for that. I just hope that he understands that I do like him as a friend, but that for now, I don't think we should even consider the future or what ever potential the future might hold. We need to just be friends today and enjoy that without trying to create a foundation for a future that we may not be prepared to handle.
ReplyDeleteI applaud your adulthood. You are still in crisis management in some ways, and for you to have the vision to see that this is a problem is amazing. Usually, crisis management is one hour at a time. I'm so proud of you for seeing the possible pitfalls, and knowing you need to A.) tread carefully and B.) make him understand where you're coming from. Wonderful!!!!
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