I just talked myself out of taking an apartment to get out of mom and dads. I really want to get out on my own, but realistically I cannot justify adding an expense to my budget when I don't have at least that amount left at the end of the month. I usually have nothing left, but this past month I made a concerted effort to have a residual balance in my accounts. I ended up with a balance left, but in each of my resources, the available balance was less than $10 each. That means that even with having been in the hospital 9 days, not smoking for 2 weeks, and deliberately conserving every resource I had, I still only managed to not spend $30 of what I could have spent.
You have no idea of how badly I don't want to live here. Yet, it is safe. I have a guaranteed source of food, air conditioning, internet, and transportation in exchange for loss of privacy and peacefulness. This is a sure place to sleep where I do not pay rent or utilities, and in reality have very little asked of me right now. I haven't been asked to prepare a meal in more than a week. So now that I can escape the house for at least 8 hours each day, I think I will tolerate it for a while longer in order to be absolutely sure that I don't get into a place and then wind up on my ear because of my inadequate income.
Oh, God, what are you thinking?????? You need to be out of that house!! Oh, honey, I think you need to be gone from there ASAP, and you need to do it soon, before they kill you.
ReplyDeleteBut is it them killing me or me killing myself? Either way I can't do it because I don't have the means to do it. So stuck under the stairs I shall remain until I find something that I can afford
ReplyDeleteIt's them killing you, obviously. You wouldn't be self destructive and in such a bad situation if it were not for their noise and chaos and uncaring behavior. Maybe you should shoot them all. I bet prison would be peaceful in the nut ward.
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